Sunday, July 22, 2012

CURFEWS... Do you remember those -?

Curfews.   My sister was a year older, and she got to stay out later - and she certainly did!!  She loved to party, was very social, always had a boyfriend plus a group of busy friends.  Curfew?  She tried her best to ignore it since there were seemed few consequences to her!  How did she manage that?  I never figured that out.

On the other hand, I was very introverted/shy, rarely went out, hardly dated in high school at all (5 times), and generally tried to keep a low profile.  Then I hit University - big, busy, lively, and I was a stranger to almost everyone.  Few fellow students from my high school attended university so I knew almost no one.  What a benefit - no one knew I was a brain, no one thought I was too tall, both girls and guys were friendly and warm, and it seemed as if the guys thought I was really attractive.  Wow.  An explosion of social life ensued.  Parties.  Dates.  Long walks.   Long drives.   I was a bit too nervous of losing control, so did very little drinking or smokin' any funny stuff at that time.  Curfew.  My mother got very worried, I know...

You see, her discussion with the two of us girls when we were early teens went along the lines of  "...anything you could do after midnight, is easily done before... so what's the point of insisting on a particular hour for a curfew?  So... Just be careful girls, and make sure you don't drink too much!"

I suspect those points came from her own life... she was married pregnant to my dad in 1940, at the age of almost 18 years old.  Well, it was the war, and she was the youngest in the family and a leeeetle bit spoiled, I think.  Life at the beginning of the war was certainly interesting, and dad looked pretty good in a uniform, I must say!

I finally moved out of home after one year of university.  I found it took too long travelling on the bus to and from home (over an hour each way), and meant I was coming home quite late, crossing a dark park as well.  Worrisome.  I made up a budget, moved into a small bed-sitting space with shared kitchen and bathroom, and survived.  For extra money I managed to work part-time over the next few years as I continued to pursue my nursing degree (BScN) at university.  Curfew?  It depended on my own good sense.  Luckily I seemed to have enough to keep safe, sound, and happy, through those challenging years.

When it came to my own kids, the "careful" message was easily passed on... and after that, I had the rule that no matter what time you come in, you had to wake me up to let me know you were home.  Whew.  What a difficult time that was.  But we all survived.

And now my eldest has a 13 year old girl...  Curfews.   Do they do any good or not?  Or do they matter?  Or is it the relationship between parent and child/teen that matters the most?


Anonymous said...

Same family - different view! A Little correction here - Mom & Dad were married in 1941 May 17th - cuz I was born 1942! Also there were curfews and I kept to them. 11:00 pm w/ends to start when I was 16, gradually getting later as I 'grew up' so that by the time I was 20 no real time limit. But they were always awake when I came in. I remember many times during my teens of when they thought I was sitting out in the car too long saying goodnight to my date, that the porch light would flick on/off to let me know it was time to come in!

Celia Lewis said...

Thanks Big Sister! I think they were learning what to do with you- you started going steady/dated rather early, as I remember. I sort of remember you talking about the porch light flicking on/off when I was growing up - I probably had my head in a book!!! :)


Family, friends, and others - I hope you enjoy these pages about our ancestors and their lives. Genealogy has become somewhat of an obsession, more than a hobby, and definitely a wonderful mystery to dig into and discover. Enjoy my writing, and contact me at celia.winky at gmail dot com if you have anything to add to the stories. ... Celia Lewis